Really? I mean really - this training has been 100% phenomenal. I've had a ball with the Goon Squad, GTD coaching has been incredibly stellar - FB is the man. My longest run, 23 miles, I could have legit kept going, my running buddies hubby and Hank have been more than a joy. My speed workouts are ON.
So why o why with 9 days left am I absolutely completely frazzled of the fact that on a "comfortable" 8 miles last night I got ZINGED by 4 pains in my left knee? Why after icing it, taking ibuprofen did it and does it feel stiff 12 + hours later?
Alright fine, this is my 4th marathon and the taper causes mental maddness and new pains to appear that never have before blah blah blah blah blah. I can deal with subdle pains - I can - but something like this? My OCD, catastrophic mind has already pretty much resulted in me retiring from running at my strongest.
This isn't San Diego when I've never qualified before and was told to STOP running 10 days out from the big day - or the day before the race where I was rubbing Ben Gay on my hip. Boston I don't recall ANY taper maddness - probably because I was so greatful to be running it and that the nightmare weather of a winter was over. Marine Corp? I wasn't the same runner - I remember being antsy - I could use a little bit of antsy right now.
I just hope that the pain I feel is fake, that it disappears quickly and I can rejoin my visions for marathon greatness in Chicago. In my mind, I've already decided that while I have a great goal in mind, that this will likely be Jay's marathon - and I'm fine with that. Now, that doesn't mean I am letting up on my under 3:30 goal - that is alive and well (YOU HEAR THAT LEFT KNEE!!!) but if I can't get this goal but walk away a Boston Qualifier again but this time with my husband, the race will be a success and Boston 2010 and 2011 will be officially on tap.